This blog just became awesome.

Because I'm now contributing to it. That's right, motherfuckers.

My introduction will be brief.

If you go to Garden City on a regular basis and pay any attention to the bullshit advertisements strewn around throughout those miserable halls, you may have seen something like the following:

On a film noir-esque black and white theme lies some half-naked faceless chick covering up her non-existent breasts with her hair (which almost seems like she's flattering herself to me; covering your chest with hair seems to presuppose that you have tits- a presupposition which is, in this case, woefully incorrect). Alongside this gray female reads something like this:

"Alex uses U by Kotex tampons for a touch of luxury"

Oh yes. Alex inserts cotton absorbents into her seeping vaginal crevice for a touch of luxury. She sips wine and bats her eyelashes - thick with mascara - while her vagina is being lovingly nourished by the most luxurious tampon ever known. Or at least that's what they'd have you believe.

I'm getting sick of this bullshit advertising. Not only is the text included so fucking stupid that I feel as though the average IQ of the globe has dropped a considerable percentage just by simply existing on this world, but it's also completely determined on what the advertisement is selling. You could apply almost any product to a picture of a black-and-white naked chick and nobody would have a fucking clue were it not for the "Alex balances these pickles on her nipples before devouring them whole" messages.

I remember this one time back in school where I took a film and TV class and our teacher showed us all these television advertisements from back in the 80's to show us how advertising has 'advanced' since then. I disagree. I think that advertising has become progressively more idiotic. You see back in the 80's the advertisements may have been corny as fuck, but at least I was able to tell what they were fucking selling with the portrayed media alone. Nowadays it's thick with pure abstract tosh that makes about as much sense as Ted Haggard's sexuality. They simply rely on added VO or text with absolutely no subtlety whatsoever.

Come on, guys. You can do better than this shit. It's almost as bad as advertising toilet paper as something that puppy Labradors like to roll around in, and not something that wipes your arse, but even you wouldn't sink to that level.

Oh wait.

-Doctor Love